3 Star Motel

Wednesday, February 03, 2016

Wish we could turn back time (time)
 to the good old days
When our mama, sang us to sleep
 but now we’re stressed out.
THE BLUE CAR, is me!
"Holy fucking shit balls..." I whispered to myself as the bridge came tumbling down. Sorry God. IT was almost magical, well not really I just saw like 20 people die, but still, the bridge just collapsed in the wrong time, in the wrong place, and you know, that is literally my life. I can never fucking do things right. OH well. I sat in that damn beautiful car for 4 hours. Traffic was blocked up, so I couldn't move, and no... I wasn't going to leave my 45,000 stardollar car just sitting there, hell no. This highway was in the middle of the ghetto. I realized I wasn't going to be able to go home, luckily my suitcase and all my traveling stuff was in my trunk. My flight left in 5 hours, and my house was an hour away for traffic, and the airport was 2 hours away because of traffic, so I asked some people nicely to move their cars. They did, I got on the ramp went 10 minutes down the road, and onto the freeway. D.I.A. here I come.
Snowing, freezing, -10 degrees, tired, pissed off, and happy to go back to the home state, I finally arrive at Denver International Airport. The fat rude shuttle guy hit on me when he picked me up, oh well. A compliments a compliment. 
"Hey there, how's the day been?" I asked him. 
"Better now that you're here." He said, he smiled, he had like 8 missing teeth. The bus reeked of weed, which I have "never" done in my life, I tell the tabloids that to make my reputation look better. What a miserable old man.
I rented a private waiting room, it had free wifi, a snack (alcohol) bar, and a bed. I liked it. I drank, ate, and slept, obviously. The time had come to board my plane! When we were in the sky, I looked out the window and felt like one of the America's Next Top Model girls flying to a new country. I always do that.
The next day I wake up in my 3 star luxery bed, in some last minute motel in WeHo. I forgot to book a resort suite, I was tired and booked the cheapest, most expensive motel I could find.
Leaning (sensually)on the door, after a SEXY night. (hair by Pau.Cam.Arena)
 I heard like a gay porn movie being filmed all night. At least they were hot, because one of them was in my bed. His name was Topher DiMaggio. Big muscles, big lips, big (you know what), big pleasure. We have a lot in common, he is hot, I'm hot, he is rich, I'm rich, he's from Colorado, I am from Colorado, he lived in Denver, I live in Denver. Well anyways I got mad at him for eating my Starbucks Gingerbread Cake. I walked out, and he was desperate and yelled "Come back I will make you an espresso." I stopped and pondered, then remembered I already had a white chocolate mocha. 
"No bitch, don't mess with a white girls Starbucks." I yelled back, I walked away sad though, he was so hot... 
The twins called me and said the flight never took off from Poland, so I am here for at least 2 more days. I had already had all my stuff in the motel, so I decided to head back after a Pink's hot dog. Topher was gone, oh well. We had like such a great connection last night. I slept better, no porn movies tonight.
I got invited to a private party for Nastygal's ad launch that day. At some nice ass club in WeHo. I read a post from Sophie Love 
"Party it up in Cali."
GOD, what a loser, who says Cali? No one from Southern California...wannabe. Anyways I walked around the 90210 for a bit looking for the LOVE store, because who doesn't love LOVE? As I walk around I see topher strutting about in his underwear, total V.P.L. yelling "I AM BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, FREE HUGS!" I walk up to him and apologize, and he says...
"Girl, I totally went on with my life, I met some hot guy named, said his name was Sophie Love, figured he was a queen, we did it, he's amazing at blow jobs, perfect lips for it, but him screaming was a total turn off, and I left early." 
"Um, ok...Sophie is a girl..." Was all I could say. SOPHIE, of all people, god she stole my man.... I am beyond angry. But, I was laughing that he thought Sophie was a guy.
At the party, I got super drunk and saw Sophie and her "rich girl" face. I was to drunk to help myself. I walked right over in my  louboutins.
"Hey you thieving bitch." I yelled
and then this happened


Then this


Then this


The end resulted in me getting my nose broken, but I sure am NOT getting a nose job, never ever ever. OH well, at least I got some free LOVE out of it! 

#Selfie

XoXo Roxy :3

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